February 2012
11 posts
I feel like I've lost the fight
I tried so hard. You know that right? I tried...
no regrets
I really hope that this time I will make the right decisions for myself. I am stronger than this, I will not be that vulnerable girl anymore and give all that I have. I am hopeful that I will be happy again.
The problem with me? Too loving, too giving, too forgiving and too caring. I will love myself more than anything/anyone else and I will work towards becoming one goal and that is to stop...
being with you is equivalent to being alone
both ways still happy
whatevs
“I’ve made mistakes in my life. I’ve let people take advantage of me, and I...”
– (via eletheowl)
January 2012
7 posts
You know what people always tell you when you get out of a relationship? “Cheer up, you’ll find better” or it could be “You deserve someone better” but actually I’ve learnt that all these things that people say in attempt to comfort you doesn’t actually work. Who you actually deserve entirely depends on yourself, and who you think is better is also a...
I’ve never been happier……………….
alone
xx
December 2011
18 posts
..I had the strangest Christmas ever
…………..
how about you?
empty. nothing inside except emptiness.
e
m
p
t
y
….yet another sleepless monday night brought forward to a miserable tuesday.
Yes, I admit I lost control.
I beat up the only guy I ever loved with my whole heart. I beat him up so badly it gave him bruises, and bite marks all over. I was mad, engulfed with anger. I didn’t know what I was doing so I gave in to my rage.
As a result, my medicinal dosage got increased x5 which in my case, is practically just a shock to me because I didn’t know I got so bad...
“I don’t know if you’ve ever felt like that. That you wanted to sleep for a...”
– Stephen Chbosky (via wordsandlyrics)
November 2011
6 posts
Sometimes I wonder…..
Would life be any different if Linus didn’t do that act out on impulse? Would life be any different if I didn’t do what I did on that very night? Would it be any different if I didn’t confess to Linus? Would Linus and I still be together happy until this day? Would Egan and I still get to know each other in ways we never expected? Would Fadzli have...
“Maybe we’re not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with...”
– Grey’s Anatomy (via eletheowl)
5:48am
.
.
.
.
I am still awake on this sad, sad, Monday morning. It’s a wonder how people always automatically feel blue and upset on Monday. I did somethings I regret last night, and I said somethings I might have also regretted saying. I can’t remember half the things I did, but the only thing I know is that what I remember? was terrible. terrible terrible terrible. Alcohol...
“I know that you didn’t mean it and I know that you think saying sorry will make...”
– (via wordsandlyrics)
yourvasteyes:
I wouldn’t mind living in lies as long as you’re true. As long as I know I can keep you, that you’ll be the face I wake up to even if I wanted to smash it the night before. I can live without you, I am not saying I can’t. I can, reluctantly, but I don’t ever want to. I will live in cycles, do repetitive things or take boring odd jobs just so we can afford the simplest relationship....
So, it’s the time of the year when all shit fucks up on me and I’ve nothing to turn to except the pills and the tears.
Thankfully this year wasn’t as bad as last year.
I believe in karma, so I believe that it’ll come for you. Just you wait. She’s dumb enough to believe your lies and still stick with you. I’ve been a fool for 4 years, but I guess I’m...
October 2011
6 posts
I guess I only have myself to blame. To pick up your calls and your pleads for me to come over and see you and spend time with you even though you were with someone else. For being stupid and not being able to move on, and letting you make use of me time and time again.
Everyone else might think I’m the bad person trying to come in between your relationship, but in actual fact, you’re...
I wouldn’t say I’ve completely moved on. I would just say I’ve tucked you into a part of my brain that I can choose to ignore so it makes my life easier. Your random texts every few days with xxs and nice words makes things a lot harder for me to move on I’d have to admit, but at least I know we’ve passed the phase of crying and begging each other to stay/leave. Dear...
Dear you, maybe it’s time to fight for what you really want. Maybe it’s time for you to stand up for yourself. For once, just decide what you want for your future and for your happiness.
4 years has passed, all I want is the same. For you to be happy.
No more tears for you, no more begging you to come back. Like you said, time will tell and no one knows what the future holds.
L x
For the past two weeks I’ve been feeling better. Don’t know if it’s cause of the company that I’m with or the placebo effect that the medicine is giving me or if it really is the medication that’s calming me down. Whatever it is, I’m glad it’s working out in my favor.
Be seeing the doc in two days time and I’ll probably get a higher dosage of...
“You don’t know what you put me through. But it’s all okay, I’ve forgotten about...”
– (via eletheowl)
September 2011
4 posts
I think I’m at a happy place at this point of time.
I have an amazing best friend, Alexandra who takes time to listen to whines all the time and gives the best/worst advice all at the same time, spends time with me when I’m always feeling lonely and down, brings me out for good food and girly time when we both need it.
I met this amazing boy Khris who is such a sweetheart and makes...
“The worst thing is loving someone when you know you shouldn’t anymore. It’s...”
– (via eletheowl)